sitting here in tears

i am so scared. i have never being this scared in my whole life. i have just been awaken by a nightmare which is haunting me since forever and that is losing someone closed to me. i dont remember what exactly happened but it consist of my grandmother. she died in front of me and with her last breath she told me to be good. after that i couldnt stop thinking bout it and started to cry. then i woke up from the dream and started crying also. the dream was so realistic....it took me awhile to figure out if it really is a dream. i cant tell me parents which are sleeping right next door because that will scare them esspecially my mom. but i think they heard me running to the bathroom just minutes ago.

i'm not sure if this dream is any kind of sign that someone close to me is going to leave. i'm not sure if this has to do with my other grandmother that just left for hk and she is sick (she has breast cancer which scares me more that this might just be about her since she's not by my side right now). i'm not sure if i had this dream just because of the new episode of smallville coming up today. i really hope it is about the new smallville.